Aloneness is comfortable and even addictive. The more alone we are, the more we want to be. That is not an issue; the problem arises when we are surrounded by people and yet feel completely lonely.
Aloneness vs. Loneliness: When People Surround You, But You Feel Completely Alone
When you go through neglect and abuse, you question why you are allowed to be mistreated and depressed, but not allowed to be loved and cared for. We deserve to be treated with respect.
The longer trauma persists—mainly with different people, but within the same cycle—the easier it is to think that we are cursed, that we will never break that pattern, or that this is what we deserve and we need to pay for it.
Why Trauma Makes Us Question Our Worth and Spiral Searching for Answers
Our minds spiral constantly, trying to find an answer for why, but there is no explanation. We all have different paths and experiences. Some are more challenging, and some less; still, never diminish someone else's pain just because yours seems deeper. We feel our pain and it hurts, so that is all that matters. Pain is pain. We are all humans trying to do the best we can with what we know.
Unfortunately, many people operate in survival mode and self-preservation to the extent of refusing to look another human being in the eye, driven by the fear that it could ruin their life and their comfort zone—even if that zone isn't comfortable at all. But it is what they know, and it feels safer than taking a risk toward the unknown.
Loneliness simply happens because people are disconnected from themselves and others. We are all trying to survive alone, but it is painful that way. And when people operate from ego and selfishness, it becomes even more painful.
The Deep Hurt of Not Having Anyone to Hold Your Hand or Hear Your Pain
Life is already hard, but having someone constantly putting you down makes it even more difficult. Sometimes, all areas of your life collapse in an unexpected way completely out of your control, and you need immense resilience to get through it. That is where it hurts the most: not only lacking a single person to offer an ear, a hand, or even a hug of comfort and warmth, but having someone actively diminish you, making the wound deeper and more alive. It burns deep in our skin. Our hearts hurt, and sometimes it is even difficult to swallow and breathe. Even eating becomes a challenge.
I feel like aloneness is a choice, but loneliness is imposed on us. We all need and deserve emotional connection, yet many times we don't even receive a single word of understanding or encouragement, let alone a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on.
You Can Crawl and Be Exhausted, But Please Don’t Give Up on Yourself
I want to ask you: while you may not understand why things happened to you, please do not give up. You can cry and be exhausted. You can even crawl or stop completely if you need to. Just don't give up on yourself, please. I know people don't say it enough, but I mean it because you are human, and I love you just because you exist. The world wouldn't be the way it is without you—your energy, your example, your uniqueness, even your quirks. If you only knew how perfect you are right now.
Drop Your Weight Here: A Safe Space to Feel What You Feel Without Judgment
Don't try to make changes if you need time to recover, but remember that you are important and you deserve another chance. Please share with me what is causing anxiety and concern in your mind. Tell me what is weighing down on your heart. You can comment anonymously, but don't leave without dropping the weight here. I truly want you to leave lighter than you came.
So tell me, are you feeling lonely lately? I hope to hear from you. I love you all!
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